Saturday, March 1, 2008

The Secret Love Child

I think Sandy is great.....really, she's nice. But between you, me and Secret Blog...she was a bit of a hussy..I mean running around wiggling her rear end for every available guy she came across.....It was a bit pathetic, I'd watch her from my window, strutting her stuff across the yard and I'd hang my head in shame. She could have used a dose of shame herself.
Those of us that remained virtuous and un-trampy did not end up with a dozen and a half babies over the years, babies that end up separated and scattered to all corners of the earth (or at least Nova Scotia)
Sorry Sandy, it had to be told.

Don't Eat The Flag....

When Canadians reach the ripe old age of 10 they make you a cake that is decorated with bright red and white frosting to look like the flag. DO NOT eat the cake...it's a test. A real Canadian doesn't eat their country's flag....no matter how delicious and tempting it is. If you can resist eating the Canadian flag for at least 7.5 hours all the secrets of Canada will be revealed to you......
.........that was some damn good cake.

Petunia's Predilections...

Aunt Petunia has a predilection for sniffing nail polish. Why auntie why? Aren't neon green toenails bad enough? Are hot pink fingernails too tame, you gotta go sniffing the polish too? Oh Auntie, you're a sick woman.
Love me